carmella chihuahua
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a very little fairy storyGemma (aka Little Red Riding Hood) And Her Encounter With The Big Bad Wolf as related by Maud Hood, mother of the above
I told ‘er not to but she just wouldn’t listen would she?
‘Don’t walk through the woods’, I said. ‘Walk along by the main road and DON’T go talkin’ to any big bad wolves; remember what it said about them on that government video?’
But oh no, she just has to go skip skip skippetin’ along to give ma those pies I baked her though ‘eaven knows ma would have most likely said I adn’t added enough salt or somethin’. If she had gone into Sheltered Accommodation like wot I told her to instead of stayin’ in that ‘ovel then none of this would ‘ave ‘appened would it?
And to mistake her own granny for a wolf! I mean I ask you! Sometimes I don’t know where I went wrong, really I don’t.
I bet that nice young Susie from number 42 wouldn’t mistake her granny for a wolf. I blame too much telly meself.
If it weren’t for that nice young woodsman then where would we be, eh? Ever so ‘andsome ‘e was, lovely muscles an’ all.
And another thing, she’s not called Little Red Riding Hood, she’s called Gemma. That stupid rag’s goin’ in the bin and I’ll buy her a nice anorak like wot all those other nice young girls wear.
‘Cos things are gonna change round ‘ere, let me assure you of THAT! I’m the talk of the town so I am thanks to that dozy family of mine. If Barry ‘ad stayed around then things might have been different but oh no, ‘e ‘ad to go off with that floozy instead.
Anyway if you want to ask any more questions then I aint in tomorrow cos I’m takin’ Gemma to the opticians. I’ll take ma to the dry cleaners too while I’m at it.
‘Wot big teeth you have’ indeed!
Oh well, at least I got me a nice new rug.
Am I getting paid for this by the way? And if yer takin’ piccys then let me take my ‘air out of these curlers; if I’m gonna be a laughing stock then at least I want my ‘air curly.
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wraeth
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heheh 
I like yer new avatar carmella 
I made you another one too, for your collection
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carmella chihuahua
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Thankyou You can get wild thing hoodies on the net but are most expensive 
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carmella chihuahua
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a teenier storyThe Case Of the Tattoed Forehead
It was just a prank that went a little too far really.
You’re young, you’re drunk, you just bought your first tattooing equipment.
Shit ‘appens mate, shit ‘appens.
Pete ‘ad crashed out on the sofa and at first we were just going to put like a tiny little dot on ‘is forehead. Then Jez suggested the ‘666’ and the upside down crucifix just sort of ‘appened.
Obviously he was awake now and screaming in agony but if a jobs worth doing, it’s worth doing well so we held him down and did quite a nice pentagram considering how much dope we’d smoked and with him thrashing around like a bastard. They’re quite hard to do you know, ‘specially when you think about all those lines and angles. Not a bad job at all considering it was my first ever attempt at tattooing.
The swastika went a bit wobbly but we TOLD him to keep still, he only had himself to blame. I don’t think he looks that bad at all. He can always grow a fringe and it was right unfair of his job to sack him and for a mate to take me to court, well, I’m actually dead hurt. Do you know how much it would cost to get those tattoos done in a shop?
And that is my defence m’lord.
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wraeth
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<plots>
cool as
I've added it to my 'methods of revenge' little black book
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sparky lightbourne
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 little red riding hoodie
as for the tattoo thing, i know an anarchist that actually happened to, he's called ACAB because that's what his mates tattooed on him.
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Ninjadmin
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hehe
there was a guy used to walk around toon with ACAB tatooed on his cheek
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