Children of teh Atom

Ninjadmin · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:38 pm Post subject:

just go and meet people

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

what wander into the street shouting "anyone want to talk to bob?"? my therapist suggested when i mentioned this, that i should just start talking to people at the shops or something.

what? i've never seen anyone do that, therfore it would be weird, and i can't think of a reason why a) the person won't think i'm chatting them up, so b) i won't feel very uncomfortable and look like a creep.

i could talk to a guy, but......... dunno tbh, if they invite me somewhere they're trying to sleep with me, if they don't then what i've managed to speak to some random man about the price of eggs. wow.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

need food. might wait til 5 for curry, dunno.

clean up room in an hour, maybe.

could read.

fuck it, eject, i'm going to stop using the net now so i can mentally prepare for the day.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

life is a mystery

Ninjadmin · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:50 pm Post subject:

don't you talk to people at university?

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

also, i've really got to clean up, but i can't be bothered, and don't want to read a book in this filth.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

went to the shop, thought someone might want to speak to me, but i was too robotic and didn't know what to say.

see, dunno if i'm massively socially inept or just out of practice. probably the first..

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i can't work out if i've been listening to my flalt mate row with his girlfriend for the past few months, or he just likes watching soap operas

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

"you can take 10milligrams
but i advise you to take 20miligrams"
"pusher! is that a threat!"

that's exactly how the conversation went

Ninjadmin · Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 1:00 pm Post subject:

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

and die alone

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

took my medication. it wasn't as traumatic as the first time, then as soon as i swallowed it i started screaming and begging someone to give me something that will make me sick.

thing is, is the shrink has no interest in my not being on it, he doesn't see that it has any value. take a pill, be happy...

i'll give it another shot in the future, just got to choose the right time.

snouty · Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 6:38 pm Post subject:

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:47 am Post subject:

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i'm thinking - i've got to give up smoking, but i don't b4 i hear if i get into uni. but if i don't, it'll fuck up the rest of my plans [get into a heathy routine b4 i start uni].

it's a tricky 1.

also, i'm thinking "i do like being more 'shy', but everyone just thinks i'm more distracted".

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

holy fuck, i've got to give in smoking 0_0

how difficult is it?

i'm very addicted - about 50 a day. after 3 hours sleep i need a cigarette.

oh shit.

plus i've got to never smoke again. what will i do instead? except that's like a lifetime's disability, rather than a few weeks of hell.

how difficult is it?

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

fuck it shall i just start today? why delay it??

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i'm thinking: it can't be worse than "depression", and it only lasts 2 or 3 weeks

Ninjadmin · Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 7:24 pm Post subject:

get one of those plastic cigarettes

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i wish i hadn't caned the ciagrettes so much - i could have had another 10 years from it, without going blind or getting cancer.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

ha i'm going to get really fat

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

art.

ever since i grew up i always wanted to be an artist. not

i just wanted to be a gangster. i'd make an ok gangster, except i've been frozen out by too many weak playas. your game is weak, my game is whack :-S

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i'm thinking:
tobacco is a sacred herb man. worship it, fear it, kill it.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

me and me are going out to the mattresses on tobacco.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

so yeah smoking. i'm going to need some confidence to give it in, and to start jogging, i've decided that jogging might be fun - my twin does it, seems to enjoy it.

confidence.

piece of piss.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

PIECE OF PISS.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

PIECE OF PISS

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

PIECE OF PISS

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

none of you are human to me.

PIECE OF PISS

*headbuts wall*

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

someone's been taping me talk to myself for the past 2 years

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

left turbo, nowhere left but here.

delete my account please sir.

*shakes fist* allow me some self respect. if you don't i'll post pictures of turds in every forum.

a fitting end

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

an end is as good as a start.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

what if i get depressed without the internet?

edit and no i did not self diagnose myself. i've seen a total of 8 [?] different psychiatrists, including the no 1 expert in schizophrenia in the country. i've had my brain scanned. in my last appt he said "if you are faking, then you're the best fake ever". different with depression - i needed ads so much i was begging, begging for them.

just so you know you know.

what else before my account gets deleted

oh yeah.............

...........

.......

edit 2 i was so lonely i was clawing at my bed. clawing.
last full day as a smoooiker.

jambooboo · pretty cool Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 33

jambooboo · pretty cool Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 33

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

thanks for the support. i haven't smoked since lunch time, i have no cravings atm, except, my whole life was about smoking, i did so little else. things seem a little meaningless, nothing to look forward to

Ninjadmin · Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject:

take up drinking

my ex used to smoke about 50 cigarettes when she got drunk

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i hate not smoking. i've just wasted the day, not smoking.

districtline · Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 7:37 pm Post subject:

first cigg of the day now

i have to quit in 2 weeks time