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bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i used to be cool. so i'm back in the town where i went to school. arranged something for like a months time. it doesn't look like my twin or any of his friends are going to invite me out. i hate him - always doing activities - scuba diving, rock climbing, backpacking, extreme faggot. couldn't play football like a normal person! or invite out his twin who clearly doesn't know anyone in the area.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i don't even particularly want a cigarette. but my jaw is about to fall off thru chewing for a day and a half.

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 12:38 pm Post subject:

stick with it

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

day 3 no cigarettes. is ok.

just went for a 20 minute jog. coughing and my back hurts.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i don't smoke and i go jogging. this girl drought is going to fix itself soon sure enough

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i run like a spastic

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

giving up is piss easy. i might have a cigarette at the end of the week, just to test myself.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

went for another jog today, and still haven't smoked.

3 days
3 weeks
3 months
these are supposed to be the cut off lines.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

4 and a bit days and i literally have not stopped chewing gum. my jaw hurts

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

still not smoking. it's ok, i miss it the romance a bit.
didn't go for a jog today.
read about aesthetics instead.

lots more important things to do this holiday, forms to send off, topics to get acquainted with. for now tho, it goes, ok.

jambooboo · pretty cool Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 33

I thought you'd retired from the internet Bob.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

yeah well they didn't delete my account.

i don't see why it would mean anything tho, it's not like i'd magically have real life things to do, or even that it takes up much of my time. in reality.

oh yeah and i'm sure that turboisland has blossomed into something utterly beautiful, in the half a week i haven't been there

jambooboo · pretty cool Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 33

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i just found my coat that i hadn't seen for a week or so.
it smells of stale sweat, and cigarettes. just wearing it now, i nearly fainted with delight.

also, what's pissing me off is that i've got no good reason to go outside now. i'm going to stand outside anyway, and drink a glass of water.

Ninjadmin · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:49 am Post subject:

you know bob

i was thinking about you before

and i think that your big problem is with your brother. why do you resent him? do you not think it's going to be fuckedup for him that his twin resents him?

one thing which i have always believed, but never acted on, is that is a lot more honourable to ask for help that to pretend you are ok

instead of resenting your brother, why don't you ask him for help?

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

i don't really resent him, it's just hard to be happy for him - not sure why. maybe he doesn't want me to be.

but no i don't think the root of any misery or incompetence of mine is my twin. and how would be help me out - money? he's not that well off and i'm not sure i'd need it - indeed he owes me several thousand pounds atm.

Ninjadmin · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 6:07 am Post subject:

you always say that he iis the good looking cool one or whatever

he is your twin, so he must be a big part of your life

if you don't love him, you won't love yourself. i've been hanging out with my big brother the last few days and it is amazing how much gettingon with your familymakes you happy

face it bob, you are in a slump. i bet you have a much better life than me at my age.

your twin obviously has confidence,which you don't have

you are like a wizard of oz character, one thing and you'll be fine....

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

filling in some masters application forms.
i'm thinking...

i'm never going to be successful, content. the real task then, must be to have a laugh along the way.
except i took these anti-psychotics again. my family, who i'm living with atm, were shouting at me. sucks.

never going to be accepted by these unis

(

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

it's not like i've felt that different since not taking them. just loads more distracted.
not by like crazy ideas, just loads more impatient with people, like there's not much point in listening or reasoning with them.

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

oh shit!

so i just thought, for the first time in almost 3 weeks: "i'm a bit bored of chewing tbh".

is that it - am i cured

Ninjadmin · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:20 pm Post subject:

well done bob

you are now sane

you are allowed to own plastic scissors and crayons

bbob · loves women Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 823

you get that like i mean cured from being a smoker?
man it feels good to be clean

clean and sane and not addicted

Ninjadmin · Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:33 am Post subject:

i remember i gave up buckets and my lungs got back to 50%