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carmella chihuahua · people's princess lol Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 1158

Just to reminder that today is a very special day.
Sometimes we get so caught up in everyday hustle and bustle, the desire for 'the latest must have' consumer goods, the intrigueing lovelife of our favourite celebrities that we forget about what is really important to us. We forget about those precious things will aren't neccessarily available in the 'coolest' shops, we forget about those things which make us feel warm inside, loved and desired, alive and which don't even always come with a price tag or have advertisments in the fashion magazines so popular in this day and age.

I'm talking not of love or family or trust and faith in god as all those are a bit wee wee tbh. I'm talking of sporks of course, the joy a simple yet ergonamically designed spork purloined from KFC sometimes without even making an accompanying purchase can bring to the heart and mind.

If every man, woman and child, had such a spork do you think it would be a world of war anymore? Somehow, I dout it. Yes, man may still covet another mans spork but if all had the same sporks then unity would grow and so would the love. I'm not talking of a communist society but of an equal one. If people have sporks then there would be no starvation, as they would be able to spear yet scoop, if people had sporks in heathen countries they would be able to use them to defeat the infidel knifenspoon tribe and bring about a golden new era of Sporkdom.
I'm not saying this will happen instantly. But I'm saying in time and with a monthly donation of £8.88 these changes will occur. For this money you can send a spork to Africa, sponser a spork getting a monthly sporkwritten letter from a spork in Need.
So when you eat your sunday roast (with a spoon of course, handy for that gravy!) and gaze at John Craven's handsome caring craggy face on Countryfile, just remember about the power of sporks and give thanks to the joy that they have brung to our lives and the possibilty that they will give joy to many many more.

wraeth · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 11:05 am Post subject:

Hail Carmella,
Full of Grace,
The Spork is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy cutlery drawer, Sporks.
Wholly Carmella,
Mother of Sporks,
pray for the spork-less now,
and at the hour of knives.

A-spork

carmella chihuahua · people's princess lol Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 1158

You can reply you know with anything inspiring or enlightrening you have found about the above sermon or any other points/tines you wish to make

wraeth · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 11:06 am Post subject:

*genusporks*

carmella chihuahua · people's princess lol Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 1158

wraeth · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 11:16 am Post subject:

I'm going to grace this thread with prayers from other religions. I don't think it's holy fair to make it catholic only *goes off for a quick google*

wraeth · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 11:20 am Post subject:

Angel of Spork,
my guardian dear,
To whom Spork's love
commits me here,
Ever this day,
be at my side,
To spear and scoop,
Open wide!

A-spork

wraeth · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 2:22 pm Post subject:

Hare Sporkna Hare Sporkna Sporkna Sporkna Hare Hare.
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.

J · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 3:25 pm Post subject:

*sporka sporka sporka sporka sporka sporka cameleoooon...*

wraeth · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject:

Confused? Troubled? Lost your faith in everything? Looking for salvation? You came to the right place.

coastloop · ninja !!!! Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 587

I found some bhuddist spork prayers aswell, is amazing how worshipped sporks are, never realised b4

By the power and the truth of this spork,
may all beings have happiness, and the causes of happiness.
May all be free from sorrow, and the causes of sorrow.
May all never be separated from the sacred happiness
which is sorrowless.
And may all live in equanimity,
without too much attachment and too much aversion,
And live believing in the equality of all that lives.

froggy · red belt Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 66

My religion isnt represented here

There is no spork but the spork! sporku akbar

Blessed are you King of Sporks, who chose sporks from all cutlery and crockery