Children of teh Atom

Ninjadmin

lots of shit on my mind purely my own doing

sitting up at 3am on xmas morning, honestly can;t be fucked with tomorro

wish i had someone to talk to . deliberately distance myself from people and live in this fucking illusion, even go along with it

and then it comes to a time like this when people have time to be with the ones they love and i feel this fucking emptiness cos i don't truly love myself or respect myself. and this goes onto my relationships with other people

fuck christmas.

RaverDrew · Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 4:19 am Post subject:

A least your not as much of a cunt as me

Ninjadmin · Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 4:21 am Post subject:

that's the only thing that keeps me going at the moment

wraeth · Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 8:05 am Post subject:

Christmas proper sucks. I wonder how many people are truly happy this time of year. I dunno, seems to be the time when you're meant to be happy, but instead any sad feelings that you have rise to the surface. And so much pressure to make it the perfect holiday results in stress and tempers lost.

It's for the kids tho innit. My mum rang me last night and we were comparing memories of when I was little. We were laughing

I didn't say at the time, but I will do today - I don't know how they managed to give us kids the brilliant Christmasses they did.

Man, I've got to stop that self pitying thing and put more effort into making it a real special day for my niece I reckon.

Anyway, am gonna start a happy thread so we got both

carmella chihuahua · people's princess lol Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 1158

Ninjadmin · Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 12:07 pm Post subject:

happy xmas all

carmella chihuahua · people's princess lol Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 1158

That's the spirit

J · Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 2:14 pm Post subject:

take some acid ninj so you think your 6 years old again

mauvais · mavis mank Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 555 Location: shite

You are me and I claim our £5.

Ninjadmin · Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 5:34 pm Post subject:

monsters inc is alright tho....

mauvais · mavis mank Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 555 Location: shite

I think Christmas is a bit crap not in itself, but in that it's a time where you have lots of time to reflect on stuff and if things aren't going well, you focus on it much more than you might normally. Couple that with the fact it's the end of another year and it can be a bit grim. I don't think it's self-pity though, just analysis.

S'definitely been a declining six months for me - and not really definable as such, just mediocre and without any kind of direction. Barely know anyone these days and that first post strikes a chord. Not sure what I'm going to do about it either, but I usually figure something out.

Meh - not unhappy, and having a decent Christmas by the sea, but this is the kinda time I realise I need to make some changes, and moreso each year - whether I will or not (not!) is another thing entirely.

We should have a 'get someone to kick your arse into gear' forum!

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:15 am Post subject:

mauvais · mavis mank Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 555 Location: shite

Nah. I don't want to set the world on fire. Just the office would do fine.

I'm just stuck in a few ruts, some of them six months old and some of them years, and other than waiting for things to come along, i haven't figured out how to get out of em. My own doing though.

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:53 am Post subject:

innnit, you make all these dreams and shit, then you realise that it's still you doing them.....

sovietpop · trainee ninja Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 333

mid twenties blues. it gets better, honestly, it does.

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 1:11 am Post subject:

man, it's wierd how these friends who mean the world to you, and you just kind of chew the shit with them....

RaverDrew · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 3:51 am Post subject:

The world is fucked

FUCK U ALL !!!

Peace on earth to all good

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:11 am Post subject:

that pic of withnail is proper scary

J · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:20 pm Post subject:

bunch of grumpy cunts

wraeth · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 3:42 pm Post subject:

I got through it OK and had two hours sleep in the afternoon, I was sooooo tired. I woke up and my mum was sitting next to me stroking my hair awwwwrrrrr. When my parents picked me up my dad said I looked awful

(Hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks). I was in trouble this morning cos I fell asleep and left the back door open

My brother brought me home this morning and spent 3.5 hours doing jobs for me:

Fixed extractor hood on cooker and hose thingy and replaced bulbs - more light to cook with - YAY!

Fixed lock on bathroom door

Fixed drawer that fell apart Christmas Eve

Put wardrobe door back on hinges and put loads of screws into other doors to stop them doing same

Fixed bathroom cabinet door, also hinge trouble. Adjusted other cabinet doors to get them hanging right

Fixed light in bathroom

Took out microwave and tried to fix it, can't, but I kind of knew that anyway. Offered to replace all the appliances in the kitchen that have all mysteriously stopped working all at once after only 17 years (FFS - can't get decent appliances anymore, should have had another decade out of all of them grrrrr etc

). Fridge now on blink

Helped me change curtains in living room (major job, even if it sounds simple it ain't)

Helped me put all new bed linen on

(My Christmas pressie to myself)

Made long list of things that I need for him to do other jobs that need doing.

Extracted solemn promise from me not to do any work-type work today and go to bed properly instead of falling asleep on settee.

Tis all good, loads of things done that I'd just got used to instead of sorting out iyswim. Makes you feel more cheerful

My brother rocks, well all my fambly do

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 6:01 pm Post subject:

kin ell

i thought finishing my dinner was hard work

wraeth · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 6:22 pm Post subject:

Innit

I must've been looking well rough

He's really good though, we kind of went through the place pretending I hadn't seen it before and then him fixing what was broked. He wants someone to do that for his place, I would but am rubbish at DIY.

It's the best kind of Christmas pressie tho, time and effort & doing things that make you feel better. I felt same when Firky replaced 7 tricksy light bulbs lol, true tho.

Next year - I might change how I do Christmas. Instead of spending money and making profit for people that don't deserve it - I might give time & effort vouchers that folks can cash in. Don't know if that would work though ... hmmm ... need to think that one through a bit more.

Ninjadmin · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 6:27 pm Post subject:

that's a proper tightfisted scheme

wraeth · Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 6:35 pm Post subject:

Reckon I can franchise it